


She's So Devoid of Colour (She's Blue)

by flamefox428



Series: Bemily Week 2018 [4]
Category: Pitch Perfect (Movies)
Genre: Bemily Week 2018, Day 4, F/F, Soulmates, colour fascination, colour soulmates
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-14
Updated: 2018-03-14
Packaged: 2019-03-31 07:45:18
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,918
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13970505
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flamefox428/pseuds/flamefox428
Summary: When Emily was little, the adults in her life loved to tell her how magical it was to meet your soulmate. It was a special connection and in that moment, you knew you would love that person for the rest of your life.Emily couldn’t wait to meet her soulmate.





	She's So Devoid of Colour (She's Blue)

**Author's Note:**

> You guys...I love soulmate aus. This is honestly probably one of my favourite works that I've ever written. I hope you guys love it as much as I do.

When Emily was little, the adults in her life loved to tell her how magical it was to meet your soulmate. It was a special connection and in that moment, you knew you would love that person for the rest of your life.

Emily couldn’t wait to meet her soulmate.

She couldn’t wait for her world to explode into colour. As soon as she was old enough to understand, she would rush excitedly around her house, bringing different objects to her mother and begging to know what colour they were. Emily’s mother would laugh and ruffle her hair and tell her what colour it was, and Emily would scribble it down on a sticky note and stick it to the object.

Her room was filled with sticky notes. Her walls were “blue.” Her blanket was “purple.” Her teddy bear was “brown.” Her favourite dress was “red.” She couldn’t wait to see those colours for herself. She couldn’t wait to look at someone and know that they were going to love her forever.

She couldn’t wait to find the person who was supposed to complete her.

/ / /

As Emily grew up, her friends began to see colours. Her best friend Ashley saw colours for the first time in grade 8, when she met a boy named Jason in their math class. They held hands at recess and kissed each other on the cheek and Ashley told her how wonderful it was to be in love. Emily _ached_. She wanted so badly to feel that magical pull.

Ashley told her later that day that her sweater was green.

“Like grass?” Emily had asked her. She knew that grass was supposed to be green.

“Sort of like grass. Green like grass but in a different way. Almost like a different colour of green,” Ashley had told her and Emily had hugged her sweater tighter to her body, thinking _green like grass, but not like grass_.

Who knew that there could be so many greens? Did all colours have lots of colours just like them?

Emily couldn’t wait to find out.

/ / /

By the time Emily had made it to grade 12, almost all her friends could see colours. Their school mascot was a tiger. Tigers are orange and black they would tell her, and she would write that next to the doodle of a tiger she did in her notebook.

She was excited for her friends, but she couldn’t help but feel a little left out. Why hadn’t she met her soulmate yet? Why couldn’t she see colours? When would it be her turn?

She went to prom with a boy named Aaron. Her mother told Emily her prom dress was blue.

Emily got home that night and cried.

/ / /

Emily had never been happier than the day she got accepted into Barden University. This was it. She was going to be a Bella and her life was going to fall into place and she was going to chase her dreams. She didn’t care that she hadn’t met her soulmate yet (she did care) because she was going to make university the best years of her life, just like everyone said it was supposed to be.

When she auditioned for the Bellas and they liked her, she was so excited she thought she might cry. She couldn’t believe it. She had sisters now. She was a Bella and she was going to be the best damn Bella she could be. She couldn’t wait to meet Beca Mitchell. She was the one who had singlehandedly reinvented the Bella sound, and it was going to be an honour as an aspiring musician to meet someone like her.

Emily was so happy, that she forgot her internal strife over not having found her soulmate. They were going to her first college party and she didn’t even care that she didn’t know what colour the Bella scarf was, even though someone told her it was supposed to be yellow; she just tied it around her wrist and followed the girls out the back door to the party.

They got there and it was in full swing. There was music thumping so loud and hard that Emily could feel it in her chest, and the place was lit up like a stadium show with people dancing and singing and drinking and jumping into the pool. One of the Bellas thrust a plastic cup of alcohol at Emily and she took it, drinking it happily and choking at the taste. She didn’t care. This was going to be amazing.

“Hey Legacy! Go meet Beca!” Chloe said as she grabbed Stacie to go dance with her. She pointed over to the makeshift tiki bar that was set up outside the house and crowded with people. “She’s at the bar, you can’t miss her.”

Emily nodded and weaved her way through the crowd, the excitement building in her stomach. _This must be what it feels like to meet a famous person_ , Emily thought. Beca had been her musical idol for years now, and she couldn’t wait to formally introduce herself. She scanned the bar area and was about to give up and find Chloe on the dance floor when a hand brushed against her arm and she turned.

“Hey! Are you Emily? The new Legacy?” a voice asked.

Emily turned around, and nearly fainted.

Beca was even more beautiful in person. She was more beautiful still as the world around Emily exploded into a kaleidoscope of colours she had never seen before. It was all so overwhelming that Emily felt dizzy and she mumbled out some stupid line about being sisters. She couldn’t focus on what was going on. All she could focus on was how Beca’s eyes were a colour and she didn’t know what it was but it was beautiful.

_Blue_ , she realized, after looking at the pool. Water was blue. Beca’s eyes were _blue_. They were so big and _blue_ and _beautiful_ and this was it. Beca was Emily’s soulmate. She was every colour Emily could ever imagine and she couldn’t breathe, all she could do was stare at Beca in awe and look around at the party, a new life injected into it that made everything seem like some surreal dream.

This was it.

_Blue, blue, blue_ , a voice chanted in Emily’s head. Beca’s eyes were _blue_ and Emily looked down and at her clothes and her shorts were _blue_ only they were a different blue from Beca’s eyes.

Like grass, but not like grass.

Emily couldn’t believe this. She looked into those blue eyes again, desperate to see more of something she never knew she could want this much.

Only Beca didn’t seem to be reacting the same way. She didn’t seem to be reacting at all? Emily was confused. Shouldn’t Beca be more excited? Beca was still talking and she looked at Emily expectantly but Emily had been too busy re-evaluating her entire existence, so she had missed what Beca had said.

“Huh?” Emily replied smartly. Beca laughed and took Emily’s drink from her gently.

“I think that’s enough for you Legacy,” Beca said with a sly grin. “Have fun, I’ll see you back at the house.”

And with that, Beca was gone and Emily was left staring at where she had been standing, still thinking _blue, blue, blue_. Why hadn’t Beca reacted the same way? Maybe it was just because they were at a party and she wasn’t big on public shows of affection. From how Chloe had described her, Emily didn’t think was too far-fetched of an assumption.

She spent the rest of the night sitting by the pool, googling colours on her phone and matching them to their names, matching them to things around her. That chair was green. Those plastic cups were red. Her shoes were white.

Beca’s eyes were _blue_.

/ / /

Emily was confused. Beca didn’t seem to see Emily any differently, despite being her soulmate. This wasn’t what usually happened between soulmates right? It had been two weeks almost and Beca hadn’t show any inclination at all that she wanted to be with Emily. She hadn’t even acknowledged that they were soulmates, and Emily kept quiet because she didn’t know what to do.

What happened when your soulmate didn’t love you?

She had tried googling and come up with no results that would help her figure out what was going through Beca’s mind. She didn’t know what to do, and she didn’t dare tell another living soul. She didn’t want anyone to know that she was so unlovable even her own soulmate didn’t want to be with her.

It continued like this, with Emily suffering silently and Beca blissfully unaware, until one day she slipped up.

She was shopping with Chloe and the redhead, her hair was _red_ , was chatting away about how she needed a new scarf for one of her outfits and about her date tonight and she reached for one off the shelf. Without even thinking, Emily had responded.

“That’s purple, not blue,” she informed Chloe, taking the scarf and handing her the right one. “Someone must have put it back in the wrong spot.”

When she turned to hand Chloe the proper coloured scarf, the older girl was looking at her in awe and wonder, before she broke out into a squeal and Emily realized what she had said.

“Emily! Have you met your soulmate? Why haven’t you ever said anything! Who is it!” Chloe said excitedly, grabbing Emily by the shoulders and shaking her gently. 

“Beca! I-it’s Beca!” Emily blurted out, just to get Chloe to stop shaking her around, she was getting dizzy. It did the trick, because Chloe stopped, immediately taking a step back. She looked upset and confused, and Emily was also getting confused.

“That’s not possible,” Chloe said, more to herself. “Beca can’t see colours.”

Emily’s stomach dropped and she thought she was going to throw up.

“Wait, what?” She said weakly. “Beca can’t- she can’t see colours? But…but….”

“No, I’m sure she can’t see colours! She wouldn’t lie to me about that,” Chloe assured. “Are you sure it was her?”

“It couldn’t have been anyone else,” Emily mumbled. She was now feeling numb. Like there was a big, empty, gaping hole where her heart was supposed to be. She looked down at the blue scarf in her hands and twisted it between her fingers, a small sob escaping her lips without permission.

_Blue like Beca’s eyes_.

Chloe put a hand on her shoulder, an attempt at comfort, but Emily shrugged it off.

“So, what?” She asked, to no one in particular. “I’m destined to love someone who’s never going to love me back?”

All those stories she had been told growing up had never prepared her for something like this. What did one do when their soulmate wasn’t theirs anymore? What was the point of it all? Was there a point?

“You have to tell her Em,” Chloe insisted, snapping Emily out of her thoughts. “We have to figure this out, I’ve never heard of this happening before.” 

“What if I just don’t get a soulmate?” Emily asked, tears beginning to pool in her eyes.

“Don’t worry,” Chloe assured. “We’ll figure this out.”

/ / /

“What? What are you talking about?” Beca said defensively, crossing her arms over her chest.

“Emily is your soulmate, you made her see colours,” Chloe insisted. Emily, who cowered behind a determined Chloe, said nothing. Beca looked seriously affronted and upset.

“You’re lying,” Beca accused. “I don’t have a soulmate yet, I can’t see colours. Really you guys, this is a sick fucking joke. I could see Amy pulling something like this, but not you guys. Especially not you Emily.”

Beca looked at her and Emily could see so much hurt and betrayal in those _blue, blue_ eyes that she had to look away.

“It’s true,” Emily mumbled quietly, tears pooling in her eyes. She pointed at Beca’s blanket, then her laptop, then her headphones, then her shirt. “Red, silver, black, black.”

“You could just be saying random shit, that doesn’t prove anything,” Beca said, still on the defensive.

“Do you have something that you know the colour of?” Chloe asked. Beca looked hesitant.

“My eyes,” she said. “My mom always told me what my eyes looked like.”

“Blue,” Emily croaked, staring into those eyes as tears spilled from her own. “So, so, blue. Like the sky and the ocean and bluer than anything I’ve ever seen in my life.” 

Beca looked frightened, and she stumbled back, falling into a sitting position on her bed.

“If you can see, then, why can’t I?” She asked softly. “What’s wrong with me?”

“I think we need to look for professional help here,” Chloe offered. “We should go to an eye doctor, maybe they can help us.”

“I-okay,” Beca said, letting out a shaky breath. She stood and followed Chloe and Emily downstairs and to the car, quiet and contemplative the whole way.

Chloe dropped them off at the ophthalmologist, her reasoning being that this was a more personal visit and that she shouldn’t be around to poke her nose into their business. She left them in the waiting room after they signed in, sitting next to each other awkwardly. 

“Emily?” Beca said softly.

“Yeah?” Emily said, just as soft. She didn’t dare look into those eyes.

“I always felt…” Beca began. “I felt like you were supposed to be my soulmate, but I got scared when I didn’t see any colours.”

“You felt like it?” Emily asked, not sure what Beca meant.

“It sort of…it sort of felt like seeing colours, just without the colours,” Beca tried to explain. “I guess what I’m saying is, even if there’s something wrong with me I think we’re supposed to be together.”

Emily smiled softly and reached out to take Beca’s hand in her own, letting them swing loosely between them.

“Mitchell,” the receptionist called. “Beca Mitchell? The doctor will see you in room 3.”

“Well, that’s us,” Beca said nervously as she stood. Emily kept a tight grip on her hand as they walked down the hall and took a seat in room 3, only having to wait a minute before a doctor joined them.

“Hello ladies, what are we in for today?” the doctor asked with a gentle smile. Emily liked her, she had a very nurturing motherly air about her.

“I can’t see colours,” Beca said, and the doctor looked baffled for a second.

“Well, no one can until they meet their soulmate, there’s nothing to be afraid of,” the doctor assured in a kind tone.

“No,” Beca said, pointing bluntly at Emily. “She’s supposed to be my soulmate. She looked at me and saw colours, but I can’t see colours.”

The doctor was silent, a concerned look growing on her face. She excused herself from the room and was gone for a few minutes before returning, frantically flipping through books and graphs. She looked at Beca over her glasses before darting back into the books and flipping around until she came across some important looking charts.

“We’ll have to run some tests to be sure,” she mumbled to herself, grabbing the clipboard off the table that had Beca’s medical history on it.

“Tests?” Emily asked. “What kind of tests.”

“To be sure of _what_?” Beca asked incredulously. “What’s the problem here, doc?”

“Beca…” the doctor started with a sympathetic smile. “I think you might be colour blind.”

“But I can’t see any colours!” Beca said with a frown. “Aren’t people with colour blindness only unable to see certain colours?”

“It depends on the type of colour blindness,” the doctor explained. “I think you might be truly colour blind, meaning you can’t see any colours. It’s known as monochromacy or achromatopsia. We’ll run some tests to be sure, but this could be why you didn’t see colours when you met your soulmate.”

“This is crazy,” Beca mumbled in defeat, slumping over on the examination table as the doctor left the room. She sighed heavily and looked over to Emily. “You got a broken soulmate, I hope you kept the receipt.” 

Beca laughed weakly and Emily felt a surge of protectiveness flare up in her chest.

“Don’t joke about that,” Emily insisted, moving to pull Beca into a hug. With her sitting on the table, she was at the perfect height for Emily to lean her forehead against hers. “I don’t care if you can’t see colours, I care that we’re meant to be together.”

“Emily…” Beca started.

“No,” Emily shushed. “I mean it. I…I love you Beca.”

Beca let out a whoosh of a breath as if all the air had been knocked out of her lungs and she wrapped her arms around Emily as well, fisting her hands in the taller girl’s t-shirt.

“I love you too, Em,” Beca said and she pulled back so she could wrap her arms around Emily’s neck. Emily took the hint and leaned down to press her lips against Beca’s, ever so softly. She felt her heart thumping in her chest and her blood rushing in her ears and all she think was _Beca, Beca, Beca, so beautiful and blue_. 

When they pulled back, Beca pressed her forehead against Emily’s again, her eyes still closed.

“Is that what colours feel like?” Beca asked softly, her voice almost a whisper as she stole another short kiss from Emily’s lips.

“Yeah,” Emily said with a smile. “That’s exactly what colours feel like.”


End file.
